Hi, strangers. Longtime no see! My posts here have become infrequent, I’ve been all but silent on Twitter, and I haven’t added a new photo to IG in over a week. So here’s what’s up: I’m moving next week, and I am going. through. it.
Since 2012, I’ve lived in seven different apartments and four different states. We are always moving. And you know what? I actually hate it. It was fun the first time, but now? LOLOLOL, no. Moving is SO stressful, as is getting settled and acclimating to a new space and locale. And yet, moving has somehow become a constant in my life.
The majority of the moves we’ve done have required super-quick turnarounds, too–always a month or less notice–and never because of something that I wanted to do. Don’t get me wrong, transitions are rough regardless, but there’s a certain kind of oh, I don’t know…angst? That comes with being forced to uproot in order to further another person’s career. I’m beyond thankful that my husband has had such a kickass career and that he has been afforded many, many major opportunities for advancement in the last four years, but it doesn’t make it any easier for me personally. With the exception of THIS particular move, it’s not something that I have ever wanted to do.
Moving is just…a lot. And the messed up part is that I’ve almost gotten used to it! Seriously, this time, we found a place, hired movers, and coordinated our move-out in the span of about 10 days…while I also tried my hardest to not get sick. Been there, done that. I think that the worst part about these eleventh-hour moves for me is that I am a planner, and when you’re forced to rush and spring into action, things get missed. There are fewer options. Things are more expensive. Everything becomes more important. You can’t even prioritize because WHOOPS, everything is now high priority! Fun times, fun times. And those things aside, for someone who is admittedly very much a creature of habit, the inherent uncertainty and chaos that comes with these lovely–and frequent!–experiences often stresses me out beyond belief. I’ll get through it…I’ve gotten through it every time, but while it’s happening–when I’m in the thick of it–pretty much ALL of my energy goes towards moving-related items. It’s beyond just finding a place to live and hiring movers ASAP. It’s also packing, cleaning, changing addresses, figuring out new utilities, unpacking, editing, organizing, and tying up loose ends. That kind of thing is fine if it happens every few years and you have plenty of time to come to plan your next move (no pun intended) and truly come to terms with massive change, but make it frequent and immediate? It’s a certain kind of stress, uncertainty, and anxiety that I have almost come to resent as I am all too familiar with it. But here we are. The good news: this is the “last” move. We’re going back to my home state, and we aren’t planning on leaving again, like ever. Because truthfully, at this point, not only do I have zero interest in any additional change, I’m actually not sure I could even do it. I’m just…fatigued. Beyond belief.
It’s hard to write. It’s hard to create. It’s hard to motivate myself to work out and to eat right. Truthfully, sometimes it’s even hard for me to interact with people and maintain relationships amidst everything that’s been going on. I hate that, and it makes me feel bad. I mean, I don’t want to give less energy to the things I love! I just don’t have any energy left right now. Like, at all. I actually thought about writing a post of tips and tricks for mastering your move, but it is TOO FRESH right now and I really cannot even. I’m stressed, overwhelmed, unbalanced, and unhappy right now. I’m just trying to get through the next three weeks or so so I can breathe and live again. I want calm. I want settled. I want normal. You have no idea what I’d give to feel BORED again!
That’s life, though. I’m having a hard time coping right now. I had hoped that another move wouldn’t affect me like this this time, but here we are! I feel like the least I could do was let you in, and address the situation here…you deserve to know 🙂 So, that’s what’s up with me. I’m dealing with my semi-annual major-life-change and trying to keep my head above water. I’m hopeful that things will even out by the end of next month and I can start living (and posting) like a normal person again. A person with actual roots. I’M SO EXCITED NOT TO BE A NOMAD ANYMORE!